What is therapy?
To me, therapy is a unique relationship in which one person primarily listens, openheartedly and openmindedly, to another; and in the receptive presence of this deep and attentive listening, the speaker is able to relax, unfurl hidden inner layers, and come into themself in new, expanded, more flexible ways. I believe that the therapeutic relationship itself is healing. We learn how to be ourselves in relationship with other people, and a lot of what we have learned in our lives is untrue and does not work for us, which results in pain, shame, sadness, and other joyless feelings. A good therapeutic relationship can be a corrective experience: we are accepted for who we are, encouraged to look inward and connect with our true natures, and supported in growing into our real selves—the ones we left behind ages ago when we started cutting off parts of ourselves to fit in with other people’s limited ideas of how we were supposed to be.
In other words, I think therapy is love, judiciously applied. I do not mean that in some sappy way. I mean it in a radical, strong way! I mean that love holds us as we are, with ALL that we are. Nothing true needs to be left behind or abandoned.
How can therapy help?
I believe that the purpose of therapy is to help us to enjoy our lives because life is both too short and too long not to enjoy it.
To me, therapy is a unique relationship in which one person primarily listens, openheartedly and openmindedly, to another; and in the receptive presence of this deep and attentive listening, the speaker is able to relax, unfurl hidden inner layers, and come into themself in new, expanded, more flexible ways. I believe that the therapeutic relationship itself is healing. We learn how to be ourselves in relationship with other people, and a lot of what we have learned in our lives is untrue and does not work for us, which results in pain, shame, sadness, and other joyless feelings. A good therapeutic relationship can be a corrective experience: we are accepted for who we are, encouraged to look inward and connect with our true natures, and supported in growing into our real selves—the ones we left behind ages ago when we started cutting off parts of ourselves to fit in with other people’s limited ideas of how we were supposed to be.
In other words, I think therapy is love, judiciously applied. I do not mean that in some sappy way. I mean it in a radical, strong way! I mean that love holds us as we are, with ALL that we are. Nothing true needs to be left behind or abandoned.
How can therapy help?
- I believe that the purpose of therapy is to help us to make ourselves whole again, so that we can experience all of our emotions and choose how we respond to them, not just react automatically with the same patterns that no longer work.
- I believe that the purpose of therapy is to help to show us how to have better relationships.
- I believe that the purpose of therapy is to help us to increase flexibility, resilience, and spaciousness in our thoughts, feelings, and actions.
- I believe that the purpose of therapy is helping us to shore up our resources to deal with daily microaggressions, as well as to work with our own internalized “-isms” and phobias.
- I believe that the purpose of therapy is to help us to learn boundaries, self-respect, self-acceptance, self-love, and freedom.
- I believe that the purpose of therapy is helping us to work through our traumas, and to appreciate our darkness as well as our light.
- I believe that the purpose of therapy is helping us to learn to ground and soothe ourselves so that we can roll with whatever life throws at us.
- I believe that the purpose of therapy is helping us to deal with change, loss, pain, and grief.
- I believe that the purpose of therapy is to help us to find our innate integrity and to live from there, whatever it seems like to other people.
- I believe that the purpose of therapy is personal growth, blossoming, and fruitfulness.
- I believe that the purpose of therapy is to help us to learn to let go of what no longer serves, including false parts of ourselves and beliefs that were never really ours in the first place.
- I believe that the purpose of therapy is to help us to learn to be with ourselves, as we are, and to reconnect with our inner joy, beauty, curiosity, peace, wonder, kindness, strength, wisdom, laughter, and love.
I believe that the purpose of therapy is to help us to enjoy our lives because life is both too short and too long not to enjoy it.
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